My Taxi Tales: The Male Gender in Trouble

Paul Aruho R.

I recently traveled with two ladies in a taxi on not quite a short journey. They both, to me, represented a class of women we call the working class.

In our journey, both of them received phone calls at different intervals. These calls revealed to me what they are and what they do.

The first one received a call twice. The first one, according to the conversation seemed to be from her Pastor. As they conversed, I came to know she was a teacher.

“Mukama asiimwe,” the other person greeted in that known Balokole (born again) greetings as she picked the call. They started talking about what seemed to be related to family and marriage challenges. She would answer between laughter and then later said, “Pastor, I am in a taxi, let me call you when I reach home.

“It is okay,” the Pastor was heard saying, adding “I will be waiting,” before canceling the call.

This same woman received another call. This one seemed to be from her brother. The taxi occupants came to know that she was coming from the hospital to see her father-in-law who had been operated on.

“He is alright but still weak,” she said. “However, he sounded tired of the hospital and wanted to go home. I don’t know whether his caretaker will manage to keep him there any longer as per the doctors’ advice,” she said.

She went on to tell her brother how she had to spend her hard-earned money to buy drugs for the old man.

“You can't imagine I had to part with my 70,000 for drugs?! I must look for a way on how I can recover my money,” she said before she ended the call.

The second woman later picked up her phone as it rang. “Hullo, your package was ready by 3pm. I couldn’t wait any longer, after calling and you never responded. But drive to the office I will tell Disan (not real name) to wait for you,” she said.

After dropping the call, she rang Disan.

“Disan, are you still at the office? She inquired adding that, “the other gentleman of the package is about to reach the office. Please wait for him.”

“No please,” Disan replied. It is passed 5 and I am rushing to pick my kids from school,” Disan added sounding pleading.

“The man wants to travel to Fort Portal tomorrow with it. He can’t leave it behind. Get back to the office and give it to him,” she said with her raised voice.

The young man at the end of the call tried to beg he would be at the office early the following day. He said that it would be costly to get back to the office and his kids have been waiting for long.

“You know I have been engaged at the office so much. My kids have been waiting and this makes them stressed when their classmates leave them at school alone. Why can’t he pick it the early tomorrow? Disan pleaded.

“But why do you take long to understand? Can you for once listen to me? Stop what you are doing and get back to office. Your family can wait but business can’t. You know you expect to be paid as the month closes,” she said in a commanding voice and canceled the call.

A few distance later, the driver stopped seemingly to deliver some luggage to a lady standing a long the road. She seemed to either be her wife or something else. They hugged and he picked a box at the back of the taxi and started some little conversation as he handed it over to the woman.

“Oba abasajja mwabaki? (what really happened to you, men)? You want every skirt that passes your way. You try to give a man everything but he will move on to have another woman. What do you want in life,” the woman who wanted the package picked up from her office said.

The second woman who was talking with the Pastor surprised me. I had thought that since sounded Christian, she was better off than the other who almost slapped her colleague on the phone.

“We try to do our best. We try to be committed to you. But the way we get surprised along the way, no one can imagine,” she said.

I intervened and asked to tell me what they do to these ungrateful men/husbands. It was as if I had opened a lead of a pressure cooker.

“What haven't we done for them? We cook, do house chores, give them sex but still you hear he has gone running after another woman,” one of the women said.

“We have done what we can as women. We are even providing for our families. For them it is about football and coming home late. It is getting terrible in families,” another interjected.

Men need more than what these women are talking about. Men want to stay in a peaceful home/house. Even if a man has done something seemingly wrong, he needs to be confronted peacefully.

In some cases, men have been accused of what they don’t do. Coming late in the evening doesn’t necessarily mean that your husband is going out with other women. Sometimes they are involved in discussions that are helpful to their families.

Women are responsible for creating a peaceful environment at home, do that and everything will be well. No man will tolerate an arrogant, nagging woman. Do this, and you will thank me later. I told them and the conversation stopped there. Everyone went silent and the noisy taxi was this time as quiet as a graveyard for the rest of the journey.

Working women have continued to harass their husbands at home. When a woman gets a paying job, she will be unruly to the extent of bullying her husband. A man can accommodate an unemployed woman but the reverse isn't true. Such scenarios will tell that the equality we have been singing all these years is a wasted melody.

 

  Police, get Close Interest in Media Reports

PAUL R. ARUHO

Media plays several roles in society. These roles have always been summarised into three. That is to inform, educate, and entertain. The first one, to inform stands out of all the three. This is because the media gives us news, which is new information less known to the public (us).

In its information role, the media acts as a watchdog in society. A watchdog is different from a sniffer dog. A sniffer dog is trained to use its senses to detect substances such as explosives, and illegal drugs to mention a few. The most common sense mostly used by a sniffer dog is smell. On the contrary, a watchdog is that one kept to watch over private property.

When you have a watchdog at home, its role is, to watch and report to the owner of any intruder into the homestead. It just barks and hardly runs after the intruder. But for a sniffer dog goes beyond that. It can detect something foreign and at times does the chasing.

Media plays a watchdog role. As a watchdog, the media has always highlighted many things in our society. Some of these issues have been good while others are extremely bad.

Media does not work in isolation. As a fourth estate, the media works closely with other arms of government. It works closely with police and other security organs. According to the United Nations, the police force or service performs the duties assigned to them by the law of protecting the public against violence, crime, and other harmful acts. Policing is all about maintaining public order and safety, enforcing the law, and preventing, detecting, and investigating criminal activities.

I am writing this in relation to a story in Mbarara that was reported in the media a few months ago. A man chased his wife and their two children out of the marital house. The woman started to sleep on the veranda with her children. This report was aired on several media including a regional television. This report showed that the woman and her children were in danger and vulnerable to anything.

It never took long, before the same media reported that the woman was attacked and hacked to near death. The images of her in Mbarara Referral Hospital were gruesome. It was very absurd.

This is where I base myself to ask what went wrong? Why didn’t the police detect that this woman was in danger and protect her against the man who almost killed her? Did the police ignore media reports? Where were the local leaders in that area? This shows that the different sections of security failed this poor woman, but more so, they failed to protect the woman who should have been protected under the laws of Uganda.

The media did its part, of informing the public of what the woman was going through. However, there are those who never came in to save the life of the woman and her children. There have been a number of issues that happen because we have not taken media reports seriously. Security organs should always take crime-related media reports seriously to prevent further damage.

 

TBAs continue to kill mothers

BY PAUL ARUHO SHEEMA: When Mercy Nuwagaba decided to seek the services of a Traditional Birth Attendant (TBA) little did she know that it would be the same time she would meet her death. A mother of two had conceived a pregnancy she never wanted at that time. She thought Manjeri Byesizibwa, 72, a reknown TBA in Buringo Masheruka sub county in Sheema district would terminate her pregnancy. Nuwagaba was wrong. She went through the whole brutal procedure but did not live long to take care of the two children she had already. At the hands of Ms Byesizibwa, she bled heavily and was rushed to Kigarama health center IV, where she died a few hours after her admission. Ms Byesizibwa known by locals in the village as a nurse she holds a certificate of attendance as a Traditional Birth Attendant and has been helping mothers to deliver for many years. Byesizibwa said that she has been doing this for years she does not remember, but in 1998, she was trained as a TBA. Although she is aware of that services of TBAs were abolished by the ministry of health, she has continued to make deliveries. “Women always come to me when in labour and I cannot leave them in pain. Some tell me that they don’t want to go to health facilities because when they fear to be operated on,” Manjeri who is now detained at Kabwohe after the death of Nuwagaba said. She confesses that she has been doing her job well until this incident on 7 April of Nuwagaba. She said that for every mother who come to her, she charges shs20,000. She also confessed to the police that she has been aiding girls and women to abort who come telling her that they fear to go to health facilities but sad “it is unfortunate that Nuwagaba died.” The Sheema district police commander, Ezekiel Emitu said that Ms Byesizibwa was going beyond what TBAs do. He said that investigations indicate that she has been carrying out abortions which are illegal in Uganda. “Residents call her a nurse for the work she has been doing. Her case is serious because we got shocked when we found a grave yard in her banana plantation where she says she has been burying the fetuses. She would just dig a few feet deep and bury,” Emitu said. Emitu refused to indulge in more details as he said that in Ms Bwesizibwa’s case, there are many local leaders involved and was not at liberty to reveal. When I visited Ms Byesizibwe’s home, there was a lot to wonder about. She has all it takes like a health facility. There was a labor ward with a delivery bed, an admission ward and a bathroom. There was a pit, which police suspect that there could be bodies of adults as police stopped opening it up as they didn’t have the gadgets. In her house, there are two patients who need her care. Her husband, Seezi Byesizibwa and a daughter only identified as Mauda are bedridden. Mauda has been in this condition for 30 years. Her step son, Hebert Matsiko 40, who stays in the same compound, said that he knew her step mother as a TBA but was not aware that she carries out abortions. He said that he has five children and his wife has never gone to hospital to deliver but instead enjoyed the services of her mother-in-law. “I got to know about this when I saw police coming to arrest her. I have known her as a traditional birth attendant and she is the one who helped my wife to deliver our five children,” Matsiko said. He said that as a step mother, he didn’t bother knowing her business saying that there was a time when he saw a sickly looking young girl in her house but when he tried to inquire, she was bitter with him. Matsiko said that since then, he has always kept a distance from what she is doing. Uganda National Health Consumers’ Organisation (UNHCO) has been running a Maternity health project in Sheema district. The Programs officer Mr Moses Kirigwajjo said that they had reported about the activities of Ms Byesizibwa but district leaders had not taken action. He said that this should be used as a yard stick to enforce the law of stopping on TBAs. “We have on several occasions reported the activities of Ms Byesizibwa to the district leaders but they have been reluctant to act. We had also agreed with them to meet all TBAs in the district, as she is not alone, but the meeting had not taken place and this incidence (of Byesizibwa) happens,” Kirigwajjo said. The Executive Director for UNHCO Ms Robinah Kaitirimba said that the mortality rate is going high in the country. She however said that such deaths are not recorded because women die in secret and no body bothers. She said that government should do research and find out why women have continued to go for TBAs when health facilities are in every sub county. “There is need to give much attention to the training of health workers. We have talked to women and they say TBAs are skilled and don’t abuse them. The death of a mother is costly and we must end this,” Ms Kaitiritimba said. She said that senstisation of women should be given a priority; to make them know that there are better services in our health centers and that TBAs are dangerous to their health. She said that TBAs should be put on a village health team such that the identify women who are pregnant and refer them to a health facility. Shunning contraceptives The Bushenyi district Reproductive Health Uganda (RHU) in-charge Stephen Karamuzi said people have continued to shun contraceptives making them to conceive unwanted pregnancies. Karamuzi said even young people must be educated on the use of contraceptives in order to avoid such deaths. “An abortion is as a result of a pregnancy you never wanted. Contraceptive uptake is very low and people have continued to get unwanted pregnancies. We must make information on contraceptives accessible to even young people such that they make informed choices,” Karamuzi said. He also said that lack of support from men has also resulted into these crude methods of abortion. He said start to blame their wives when the get unplanned pregnancy which force them to abort. The Sheema district health Inspector Mr Francis Mugume said TBAs have gone beyond their scope of operation. He said that they were not meant to aid women to abort which has claimed a number of lives. He said that it was disturbing to find Ms Byesizibwa inducing abortion. He said that police is involved because is a person dies, police has to come in. End item

Our Children, our future

Today, 6 April I appeared in a morning talk show on one of the radio stations in western Uganda. We were four panelists and a moderator talking about ‘Bringing up children’. All of us agreed that parents have continued to have a big challenge in bringing up children due to the current life styles and trends. We explored the need to earn in order to contribute to the economics of the family, where by both parents have to work. This situation has continued to keep parents away from home, making children more vulnerable to any unexplained situation. Parents have continued to leave their young children at the hands of house maids whose character is questionable. In Uganda, we don’t have companies that can train house maids such that one hires them. We instead bring these young girls from our villages, who are either school drop outs or orphans whose upbringing is also wanting. These are the type of house helps we bring in out homes to look after our children. There is an old saying that ‘it takes a whole village to bring up a child.’ But this used to happen long time ago when capitalism had not invaded our communities. These days, no one will seem to care about your child. Each family looks after itself and God is the one who is for us all. For us when we were growing up in 1980’s we respected our neighbor more than our own parents at home. It would be a serious crime for a neighbor to find you in wrong. We would make sure that we behave ourselves on the way to school because we knew someone was watching us. But to day things have completely changed. You meet a child on the way who hardly greets you and when you try to ask a few questions, you will be lucky if this child does not abuse you. In the past, everyone worked towards the wellbeing of every person in the community. These days we are seeing selfishness and the ‘I am not my brother’s keeper’ situation. I don’t know whether this trend can be reversed. There is another issue of boarding schools especially the private ones. I have one several occasions, on my visits to primary schools, seen children of 3 years boarding. This is a serious mistake parents we are doing. According to the chairman of Uganda National Examination Board and a consultant in education, Mr. Fagil Mandy, it is dangerous to take a primary level pupil to a boarding school. He says that this is the time a child needs the guidance of parents and to create a strong relationship with them. He asked parents to at least take make their children board when they join secondary school. In this, we have left our children at the hands of teachers who hardly have enough time for all the children in their care. Religious studies have for many years instilled discipline and respect in our children. While in school, there was compulsory prayers every morning. This could help us love our religious and God at it. Today, teachers no longer have these programs in our schools. They are interested in good grades, which the government puts them on pressure to, forgetting that this child needs morals. The government (leadership) has also not done enough in helping parents to bring up their children. They are more interested in telling our children about their rights for getting that these rights go with responsibilities. There is not effort in their budget to program for the young who takes the highest percentage in the country. Lastly, bringing up children should be a collective responsibility. Parents, teachers, the community and government should come up to disciplined and respectful children for these children are our future. As I said, “it takes a whole village to bring up a child”. I wish everyone good parenting.

Time for Ugandan young people

I will use one slogan of a political organization no that I belong there, but because it is a bit relevant to what I am going to talk about. But basically it says, there nothing as important as an idea that whose time has come.

A few weeks ago, when president Museveni was addressing parliament, a number of his ministers were completely in slumber. The press was marred with pictures of these ministers and the world was able to see the nature of people that represent us in parliament.

This is not something that should be taken lightly. The majority of the people the cameras brought we those who have out lived their time in parliament and need a checking. There is need to have a vibrant parliament that should deliberate people’s concerns for the development of our country.

This can be done if young people come up to actively participate in politics. Everyone should get worried because the nation is getting a vacuum in the leadership circles. The old have adamantly refused to leave power and the youth are also reluctantly failing to unseat these outdated leaders. This vacuum will one day or the other affect those who still have more years to live.

There is a gap being created between the young and old generations. Our leaders are aging off without having replacements. Due to high rates of unemployment, whoever tries to come up, (youth aspirants) they are compromised in the sense that they are given some little money to step down.

There is need for a fresh breath on the political scene other than having the same dancers on the stage. There are regions who are sending young, educated representatives who are capable of articulating clearly issues in the house. But there those who do not care about and instead send people who doze off during the parliamentary sittings and ‘wake up to vote’ as one politician put it.

This is a trend that needs to be worked upon and it can only be dealt with when the youth actively gets involved in politics. There a lot to be done, if there is patriotism in this country, our leaders should make politics attractable to the youth such that they can get involved. Otherwise a great number of our leaders will get haunted even in their graves for mistakes they made by not allowing the young get involved in the running of our nation.

When teachers 'roast' journalists

Paul Aruho

Their faces could easily be read they were ready for us. They wanted to know why journalist do the things they do- are they from mars?

It was a challenging experience when I met student teachers of at Bushenyi primary teachers’ college in Bushenyi district early this week. They had called me to discuss for them how journalists go about their work, the role and challenges journalists face and the possible opportunities if one joins the profession.

I did some preparations to make sure that I am not caught off guard by these informed people. I called my colleague Chris Ahimbisibwe and we went together. On our way, they called to find out whether were coming.

We found they had already assembled and was welcomed by Sister Sophie Kentwiga, the head of language studies at the college. I immediately went on stage and took the students through the journalistic work, with Ahimbisibwe filling the ‘potholes’ in my address. The students were attentive and did not have a rough time at this level. After our talk, there come the time of questions.

“I want to know what drives you as you do your work. Your nature of work seems risky. What mechanism do you use to defend yourself? Do you have guns?” one student asked.

It was very surprising to see that the public think that journalists carry guns. To them our work is very daring which requires protection like carrying a gun. They think we carry arms to fight back whenever we are attacked.

It reminded me of what Daily Monitor’s Emmanuel Gyezaho wrote recently that “Service to country is the one that drives us.”

We told them that we are simple people, law abiding citizens who do our work with extra care.

“Sometimes we fall into trouble like any other person who deals with human beings,” Ahimbisibwe told them, “but we always get out and carry on our duties.”

The students disagreed with us when we told them that we are agents of behavior change. For them they think that teachers are the ones that change behavior and the media has always let them down in this struggle.

“It is amazing that you have continued to awashing us with pornographic materials, then you come here and say you are agents of behavior change. By the way, are there journalists who believe in God?” one Esther asked.

You can now imagine how these people think about us. They think we are spoilt ‘boys’ who do not have a sense of God in our lives. It was very hard to explain to these teachers that some of us are believers who submit to the will of God. They think we do our work as if we don’t live on this planet called earth.

“Do you really take time to read through the papers you write? Those ashaming pictures which you publish to be seen by young and innocent children. You are solely responsible for the degenerating morals in our society,” a charged Esther said.

We were dumb folded. We did not have answers for Esther on our finger tips but at least I was representing a newspaper (Daily Monitor) that does not publish pornographic material and that is what I told them.

The students wanted us to go on. They were disappointed when Sister Kentwiga announced that we had to end such that other college programs could continue. They still had very many questions for us and we promised them that we shall come back when called.

That is how the two behavior change agents in our society (teachers and journalists) spent a day together.

Byaruhanga's future hopes were shattered in a second

PAUL R. ARUHO

On 3rd August 2007 Yusuf Byaruhanga 20, woke up like any other young student to face the usual challenges in his life. As his daily routine, Byaruhanga ran to Kyambura mosque for prayers. Little did he know that that was his last time to talk to God inside that four walled structure.

He came back home and prepared himself to go to school Kirugu secondary school in Bushenyi district. He has been doing his end of term two exams the whole of that week, remaining with fine art. He entered his classroom in a jolly mood. At around 8:30am, a few minutes in the exam, Byaruhanga was very sure he heard a gunshot. Like any other curios student, he ran towards the door to see what was happening.

“We thought it was game rangers running after poachers. In a twinkle of an eye, I saw Byaruhanga falling down blood oozing out of his stomach. It was a nasty site for me to see which will never fade out of my head,” Idd Habasa a classmate said who was a few steps behind him on that fateful day.

That very morning students of Kirugu secondary school in Bushenyi district came face to face with Bushenyi local administration armed policemen who showered them with live bullets leaving one student dead and another one seriously injured.

Yusuf Byaruhanga 20, a senior one student, died shortly after he was admitted at Comboni hospital due to bullets that him on the stomach letting out the intestines.

At 20 years one could wonder why Byaruhanga was in S.1. He is among the many disadvantaged children who were born in Ugandan poor families. His father a pure peasant had struggled to make him remain in school.

He had repeated primary seven at Kyambura primary school for two times not because he was dull but due to lack of school fees.

After doing his PLE in 2004 he lost hope and dropped out of school for a period of another two years. When he heard that the government was to introduce free secondary education, he saw it as his long waited chance he could not let go. He was however frustrated when he we refused to register at Kirugu ss as a UPE student because he could not qualify.

Byaruhanga’s passion for school made his father Idd Karyaija to struggle and make sure his son attend school. Through doing pet jobs in the village, Byaruhanga was able to raise school fees and boy scholarstic materials.

“This boy was very intelligent. I was sure he would make it even to the University on government sponsorship,” Karyaija lamented.

At school the deputy Head teacher, Mr Wilson Byamukama approved this. He said that since he looked older than any other atudent in senior one, he could be noticed. ”He was very intelligent and serious in whatever he was doing. It was unfortunate that we lost him so carelessly like that.”

Sitting in his small compound, looking at his son’s grave, a helpless Karyaija is waiting for any person who can help him to get compensation from government after his son was shot dead by police while at school.

“A few days after the burial, some police men came here and apologized for what happened. They said that they will follow the matter and we may receive compasation. We are waiting. It will be good if they honour their promise,” Mzee Karyaija said.

Karyaija said that he knows the cost of not taking children to school. He said that they become a burden to both parents and the government.

“I have been trying to fulfill the government policy of educating my children. But it really frustrates to send a child to school and the government then comes to shoots him,” a sobbing Karyaija wondered.

According to the deputy head teacher Mr Wilson Byamukama of Kirugu ss, there was not strike at the school as police first said. He said that in the last 11 years he had been there, the school has never registered a strike.

It all started when the local administration policemen came to school to arrest the head master Mr. Laban Rushure. It is said that he had got some domestic problems with his wife Alice Rushure who is the Bushenyi district local government planner. Even the police men came in her car. It would not have caused a stir among students but when they saw their head teacher being hand cuffed, they tried to inquire for an explanation and block his arrest.

“The headmaster was whisked away from his home in handcuffs. This led students as for an explanation to know why their head teacher was being taken,” a teacher only known as Wilber narrated.

The district police commander Onyura Peter said Rushure told police that there was a strike at school and had called his wife send him transport and security to protect him from the students whom he (Rushure) said they had gone on strike.

The leaders in the district have condemned all that transpired in the school. The Bishop of West Ankole diocese Rt Rev Yonah Katoneene and the area MP Gaude Tindamanyire have appealed to government to intervene and carry out thorough investigations into the matter and find out the root cause of the shooting.

The three police men, Abraham Kyabaheire and Cpl Turimu, Patrick Byaruhanga attached to Kyamuhanga police post were arrested. The head teacher has been released on police bond while the three policemen have been sent to Nyamushakyera government prison on remand.

aruhopaul@gmail.com