Men have the key to happy marriages
PAUL ARUHO

You all agree with me that things have changed and affected our lifestyle. Marriages are the ones that have been affected so much because it is an institution where everyone wants to be happy.
In his new book, The Secrets Of Happily Married Men, Scott Haltzman says that men’s good behaviours lead to happy marriage. So men play a big role in making a happy marriage.
The assumption has a lot more pleasant, and the payoffs are far greater, to live with a woman who is satisfied, secure and feeling loved.

Haltzman says that guys should always make marriage their job. He says that if a man is to accept that marriage is his job, he needs a job description. Love, honour and respect your wife, be sexually and emotionally faithful, support her ambitions; be fun-loving and adoring her as you were during courtship.

He continues to say that guys should know their wives. He says that research has revealed that most men don’t know their wives. Guys are advised to collect data about their wives, know them in every situation where she reveals herself. It could be when she is with friends, in a restaurant, at home or any other place. This will enable you to discover who she is and not who she says she is.

Men are urged to always be at home for the family. Haltzman says that men evolve as prowlers and hunters, not home-tenders. But to make marriage work you have got to spend good time around the cave. To build a strong marriage you have to be there in person, ‘Mr Regular’ so to speak. Men need to be honest why they often leave home returning to feed, sleep and lie with their mate. Being at home will enable you to avoid conflict, loss of control and other things that could let you spouse to say, ‘if he was around’.

If men are sufficiently present at home, the payoff is directly and bountiful. There will be love, friendship support, peace of mind, fun and intimacy.

Conflicts should be expected and they are inevitable, but they are controlled. A man can stop the amounting tensions in a conflict. Haltzman says that guys should not do what they are inclined to do (to fight to death) but to use various higher cerebral strategies.

There is need to learn how to listen. Not everybody is a good listener and listening does not come naturally to males who are more inclined to act, but it can be learned. When talking to your spouse, you need to stand still and look directly at her. Use verbal nods to show that you are listening. If it is important, seek clarification.

Also you need to aim at pleasing her. In most cases men are masters in relationship building. Treat your wife as well as you could. Greet her regularly; seek to know what she needs and how you can help. Do favours, anticipate desires and entertain and offer gift as appropriate.

Basing on the above and other small things that matter, men can make their marriage better and free of conflicts